it is so hard to wish ?
Friday, July 13, 2007 |
i can't take it anymore
i can't take in anythin else
i'm up to my limit
was it so hard for a request ?
i didn't do well for my mid year
my results were
A B B E D
it stinks
n i wanna do better
i knw i can
cuz i like to learn
i like e feelin of doin well
tat sense of acheivement
tat feelin tat says see i'm nt worthless
i wanna take e diploma course
it means no more sats...no more holidays
but i dun care
i'm single i'm a loner its fine
but i wanna giv up chinese
in order to cope i had to
but is it so hard ?
i tried
i took classes
i beat up myself wit books
e most i can do is pass
but this is diff
i cant do it anymore
i'm worn out
so dun tell me is jus cause i dun study
u dun knw how i feel
gettin lock in a room wit books
feelin weak n tired everyday
wakin at 6 reachin home at 7 past 9
no one cares
parents dun wanna argue cuz its a hasssle to call
teachers dun wanna help cuz its only a student
a student hu tried 16 yrs to do somethin she could nt
i'm tired
its ok none of my dreams come true
i cant go to japan in my teenage years
i cant go to dance sch cuz i had no cash
i cant afford branded clothes
i cant go to christina aguilera's concert
i cant be an air stewardess
i cant go for surgery for my teeth
i cant see e whole
i cant marry a foreigner [dad said he'll disown me]
but jus a simple request
n it couldnt be granted
pple thought it was ok
they made fun of my teeth
i knw they're ugly so dun rub it in
they didnt take me seriously when i said i would kill to go japan
they didnt think i was when i was depressed
cuz i was smilin through my feelings
maybe cuz it was fate tat my life is a shithole
i didnt go to church enough
i didnt pray enough
i didnt help e old lady cross e street
i was always a dollar short in e charity drive
no point makin arrangements
when i die
cuz i already knw where i'm goin
even if hell dun exist
my afterlife would be as shitty as now
perhaps dying is less painful as now
going through meaningless days
to a place i dun wanna be
to a job i dun wanna work
to a guy i dun wanna marry
life is pointless now
knwin dreams wont come through
wats e point of everythin