trembling..i need pillars
Sunday, July 01, 2007 |

i dun even know where to begin
its bout my relaionship...again
i've been wit this guy for 3 years
but he's been wit a fake....{read it in my othr blog}
after e movie
i jus had this feelin...i need to stop this
i've been thinkin bout it a year
n i was too scared to do it
but i finally did
...bein out wit my frenz tat day makes me realise...i wan my frenz back
i jus wanna be wit them...tats where i belong
honestly...i stead wit him cuz
i was lonely and i needed someone
tat time my parents were strict
no good frenz watsoever
i needed someone to rely on...to comfort and pamper me
i needed a support
cuz i was weak
i'm always afraid...
afraid tat i'm late
afraid of doin badly
afraid of pple
cuz i thought if i screw up i'll be alone....
but now i'm less afraid
i'm startin to be late wit less panickin
exams arent scary
n i aint afraid of my parents.....
i've grown
so maybe tats why i dun feel for him nymore
i stop listenin to him
i mean i'm even lyin to pple sayin
he's nt my stead cuz i'm afraid tat they'll look down on me for lovin someone who doesnt love me for who i am
he wans me to be common
he wants me wit long hair
normal clothes
descent talkin
sometimes if i dun play by his rules
he'll jus get angry and ignore me
but pretend e nex day tat nothin happened

i'm afraid
after breakin up
i'm afraid
cuz i'm without a pillar who was there for 3 years
for me to rely on
for me to find if i'm alone
i still dun wanna be alone
so i'm gonna rely on someone else
...friends....
my new pillar
will u be mine ?