hate myself

supposed to start preparin for promos....but

urgh...the mind is willing but the body is dying

been reachin home increasin late

somethin interestin happened today at e canteen....was standin at e drink stall n then this grp of girls were behind me....they started bitchin bout some girl...

so like yea i actually felt srry for her a little even though i dunno her cuz i mean bein insulted like tat is a bit overboard

but stopped feelin sorry when they started pointin and laughin again

urgh wateva

jus gonna ignore evrythin....we hav class [ahem]

was supposed to reach home str aft sch to study

but find myself at del's house bakin COOKIES wit QY n gang MMMMMMMMMMM

[wanted to lick myself HOLY CRAP]

love my class...hahaz...this fri pple OMG OMG OMG

hahaz.....damn tired la today

rushed home to get e dresses

then rushed to del's house to bake cookies

rushed home again to change

rushed to SMU for dance

watch e vids.....bunch of retarded frenz doin e evolution of mankind haha

got chased out by e side-swiped security guard

so took a cab to e underground passage at citylink

gt damn fed up...some newbie was like runnin round in circles

so we jus got off n walk there...[i'm bossy tell me bout it]

kinda stupid we didnt even danced we were jus rollin around

doin e mash potatoe moves hahaa [freakin retro la]

on e way home

he pulled me aside

n demanded to knw wats wrong wit me

n then somethin happened n then i slapped his pretty little cheek

it was not intentionally...i mean it was a natural reaction...i gt scared..omg....i mean its like if u see somethin fly towards u..u will hit it away right ? without question...

was damn awkward...he jus walked off [ guess i hurt his ego big time]

i was bein e bimbo...jus standin there takin it all in

wished i could jus be like tinkerbell "tink" n disappear

he came back 10 min ltr n sent me home

we didnt talk....we didnt even mention bout wat jus happened

he sent me to e door

said gdnight...ran up e stairs

ran to my room

slam e door

.................................sign*

so so so so so bloody confused.........

i'm speechless.....how am i suppose to react ? why......why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why ...impossible...

why didnt i noticed be4

why when u started winin n dinin me...when u strted seein me home...when u gav me ur jacket in ur rain...when u were there all along....why didnt i stop n wonder ?

why now ?

why me ?

why me.......................

srry....maybe its cuz i was blind

but aft all tat we've been through i find myself still confused

....giv me time...