Reminiscing

omen frm the stars

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 | 0 comments

probably the stars heard my plea

on tat night i prayed

i prayed

to be whole again

n it sorta came true today

i'm happy

so so glad

tat u didnt lie

i'm jus so happy

tat u made ur stand

this will be our dirty little secret

blockin out the sunlight

Tuesday, January 29, 2008 | 0 comments

i luuuuuuuurve sch

hate e studies

but luv e drama

n the pple

was really emo past free days i admit

wat wif pple tellin me nt to go nyjc

ain threatenin

to call e principal

n hammer him to death

geez

freaky

died today

cuz we had our 2.4

was really down

cuz e guys n e girls ran seperately

thought i could run wit my eyecandy

damn it

there goes all my motivation

...

nyways managed to pass

14 seconds wheeeeeeee

sucky timin

but at least i pass man

but aft e run

hav a freakin cramp

so was hoppin round

e sch shoeless

ooooooooooooo kind of fun

oh ya some retarded thing happen

[last night]

me : marcus help me buy something to eat tmr k

marcus : i gt a bowl n a spoon u wan ?

me : wateva...jus buy somethin

[nex day]

me : where's my food

marcus : ta dah your bowl n spoon

me : wtf

nikki : hey tats a nice lookin spoon

can i keep tat ?

.....fuckin retarded...

hahaz

gt screwed by mrs phua

cuz we skipped lessons

but hey

i love it man

1st time in my life

i'm so excited bout detention

n i dun knw why

holy crap

haha

was supposed to

pace shafiq in 2.4

but in e end it rain

damn it

i wanted to jus

kick n torture pple round e track again

i wanna whip them

wit a belt

n go raaa raa raaa

so went home

n now i hav a fever

urgh

oh ya

happy birthday isabel

even though

i dun even knw

who the hell u are

but ya

i jus love celebratin birthdays

cuz wit birtdays u hav cake

n i love cakes

esp creamy ones

last last year

i gt smashed wit

a 2 kg cake [it was fruit cake yay]

n then i jus started lickin myself

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

lick lick lick

i mean y waste a good cake pple

hohoho

sometimes i fancy

dumping a cake

on my eyecandy

frm head to toe

then i'll jus offer my help

by lickin it off

oooooooooooooo

kinky

it might take a while

cuz he's real tall

but its ok

....i hav time

oooooooooooooooo

i'm such a perv

passionate love

Monday, January 28, 2008 | 0 comments

maybe its about time

u started asking yourself

why is it

that u're walking home

alone again

tonight ?

pple r only missed

once they're gone

so..

did u miss me when i'm gone ?

knockin on heaven's door...

Sunday, January 27, 2008 | 0 comments

very bad day

i jus really hate myself so much now

woke at 9

rushed to bugis

reached at 10

then found out match was postponed

til 12.30

so waited

then aftwards

it was a walkover

so watch e match at like

1.30

n then rushed to yishun

met e gang

to study accounts

saw my ex's frenz

all ignored me

reached home at like 7

very depressin day

haiz

i am such a slut really...

its like when

i found out

e bball match was postponed til like

12.30

i stayed on

..

jintong

kept askin me to go

cuz he said he'll be nervous

if i stick around

but i was jus bein a bitch

didnt wan to leave

cuz i felt

like i came all e way here for nothin

i really wanted to watch this match

cuz i thght it would be fun

...

but in e end the match

was a walk over

so i stayed to watch e 1.30 match

j.t was still pesterin me to leave

but i said its jus 1 match

n then he finally gav in

but he told me to leave straight

aft or durin e match [if they lose la]

so....they eventually lost

i was jus dumbfounded

didnt knw wat to do or say

so i jus sat there speechless

we didnt speak aft tat

so i jus left on my own

.....

omg i'm such an idiot

i knw its nt my fault tat they lost

but i jus feel shitty

i'm jus so self-conscience

i did nt even care bout other pple's feelings la

i hate myself

shouldnt hav went

shouldnt hav even contacted them

i'm such a loser

i bring bad luck to evryone

i hate myself

i jus dun wanna talk or see them anymore

i'm guilty for life

i'm gonna ignore them

til i get accepted into nyjc

so they dun hav to see my stupid face again

god i really am worthless

i bet they really hate me now

thk they'll be happy if i jus disappear

frm their sight foreva

this gift

Saturday, January 26, 2008 | 0 comments

did nothin much today

woke up at like 10

panic like hell

i'm late for sch god damn it

rushed to get dressed

took a quick shower

wore my uniform

n then i finally realise

ITS SATURDAY
holy crap

so jus went back to sleep

wit my shoes n uniform on

i hate myself sometimes

went to queensway

gt my runnin shoes YAY

its adicolour pple

its red

red i say

ooooooooooo hot

keith drag my ass

to woodlands

to buy lingirie

for his girlfriend's v day present

e shop was huge i say

n we were e only pple there

hell lots of bras

hangin around

thought my vision was gettin

lumpy

oooooo

n the same thing

always happen

in a bra shop

for me

k : eh hi i'm lookin for this design

do u hav a smaller size then her

[pts at me]

salesassistant : ah mei wats your size ?

me : i'm a 75 B

n then all 3 assistants

in e shop

stared at my chest

looked at my face

then stare back down again

....

i'm outraged

wth

n then i gt real pissed

when e fat one asked me

assistant : ah mei u put stuffing inside issit ?

wtf

i dun stuff tissues or fur or hamsters in my bra

jeez

i'm a natural

assholes

wanted to jus poke a needle

in her boob

n watch e sillicons flow out

urgh

nex time i'm buyin a bra

i'm gonna bind myself

happy ?

assholes...

nyways

watchin e m.i guys

playin some bball

competition tmr

so i'm jus gonna support

honestly

i dun giv a hoot bout bball

but i jus like

e atmosphere

sign*

e real reason

why i'm goin

is cuz i missed the feel

of supportin ur peers

i mean like in sec sch

whenever there's a competition

everyone

every gurl n guy

in our sch

would like go down to support

whether we knw or dun knw e person

as long as they r frm our sch

the unity is there

imagine 1 whole bunch

of idiots

cheerin at e top of our lungs

we celebrate together when we win

we hug each another n cry if we lose

its the bond

now in m.i

no one givs a shit

its so dull

there aint no love anywhere

sign*

i miss high sch

i wan my 4e4

i wanna play rugby n break all my bones again

oh ya

i'm in e valentine day mood

haha

n my fav all time

love song

is "this gift"

from 98 degrees

e greatest boyband on earth

luv all their songs

but this is my fav since i was little

7 days

Saturday, January 26, 2008 | 0 comments

i've jus made an important

decision wit my bro

i've decided to leave m.i

n go to nyjc

been thkin bout it alot

n i thk its best

to study there instead

cuz although

i've alr spend a year here

but how far can i go ?

the facilities r ok

the teachers r quite ok

the pple r friendly

but it jus lacks of a competitive study environment

n honest to

say i screwed up my year 1

so startin over again

aint tat bad

i jus feel tat

i'm nt missin anythin if i leave this place

i thk i can acheive better

if i was in nyjc instead

so tats why

i thk its best to leave

season of love

Friday, January 25, 2008 | 0 comments

oooooook

so valentines day is comin

hooooooooray

n on tat day i hav exams

hoooooooooray

god my life suxx

nyways

couples hav been askin me

wat the hell do i do ?

hey pple

do i look like some cupid ?

haha

jus kidd...

nyways here r my views man

the greatest place to hav ur honeymoon

bora bora islands

like duh

only the rich n the famous are able to afford

a holiday there

but god man

its jus so bloody beautiful

its ridiculous

....

about valentines presents

i dun knw wat to say

each individual

has their own set of style

so its nt my place to say

wat's nice n wats not

but all i knw

tat wateva u giv

wateva u do

she will still love it

becuz its from u

gettin a gift frm whom u love

even if its small or puny

but it means the world to her

cuz

the greatest thing in life

is jus to love

n be loved

in return

...

here's a short love poem pple

You live in my heart,

i won't break it apart,

even if it makes me to cry,

i will love you till i die.

Blood doesn't flow in my vein,

ur thought flows in it as a pain,

I may not be the one for you,

i would have still loved you-even if i knew....

My love is not written on sand

,for the waters to wash away,

it is written in my heart to stand,

all the difficulty that comes its way.

I still smile looking into the life of yesterday,

to wipe away the tears that you bring everyday,

Nights seems to be getting longer and longer,

with thoughts of u getting stronger and stronger.

My love may not be one happy chapter,

like the saying "they lived happily ever after",

By loving,i have lost everything to you,

what i still possess is just the memories-

of once being with you....

n gurls

if u're in a tangled web,

jus stop n think

bout ur boyfriend

think...

does he rub your feet
when u had a long day ?

does he call u in the middle of the day
jus to say baby i love u ?

does he hold your hand
sayin he'll nvr let go no matter wat

does he wait for u aft sch
jus to walk u home
to be sure of your safety ?

will he always be there
when your world starts crashin down ?

does he hug u in the middle of the night
when ur feet gets cold ?

does he look u in the eye
n kisses u passionately
in the middle of the road ?

does he held u close
sayin how he wishes this nvr ends
n if it does
he would choose to love u again ?

i've love n lost

so many pple dear to me

in this life

some moved on

some disappeared

some came back to me

but i jus wanna

dedicate this song

to them

wherever u may be

whateva u r doin

jus wanna let u knw

i'm glad we've met

i cherished the happy times we spent

i love u all...

n to all singletons

on this special day

where all couples celebrate their love

while u sit at home n moan

thkin how life is unfair

jus knw tat somewhere out there

your true love

is thkin n doin the same thing

but for me

love is jus a fools game

it does nothin but hurt

it lifts your spirit

n then shoots it down

its bittersweet

...but yet i test it over n over again..

til i'm sick of it

i'm scared

afraid to love again

to be hurt badly again

...its jus nt worth it...

never was

house of hush

Friday, January 25, 2008 | 0 comments

deleted all our messages

deleted all numbers

pictures n memories

of us , locked up securely in my heart

presents n gifts

r stored safely

in the closet

in my mind

i forgot our story

i lift up my hands n pray

to forget everythin

to hav ur existence unknown

tat would be best for me

one last cry

one last memory

i closed my eyes n prayed

tat when i look up

ur figure would be nothin but

jus another shadow

....

...jus another stranger to me...

misery loves company

Thursday, January 24, 2008 | 0 comments

i am proud of myself today

hohoho

a litle arrogant there i agree

but i hav matured

n am proud of me

applause*

ok so came to sch

gt back my diary

from jintong

n read his breakup letter

he secretly slotted inside it

urgh

of all timings

i'm filled wit stress

now there's more addin on to it

couldnt take it

i jus collapsed in sch [yes...again]

hid in the o hub

handicap toilet

durin chinese

n cried my eyeballs out

plus vomit e sakura buffet last night eeeww

was so bad wan yee had to

support me

to the canteen aft class

haiz

bumped into shafiq

passed him the letter

n let him jus do wateva he wants wit it

cant be bothered keepin it

guess he threw it away

wateva man....

actually wanted to bring it to the zoo

n feed it to the cows

but

one : its too far

and two : the cows will hav indigestion and i love cows.....

so hanged out at e gym wit him

i broke my butt

n sprain my wrist

while tryin to do

e machine

ow

shafiq was jus laughin his ass off

...asshole

so took off our couple

keychain frm my locker too]

n jus fling it on e ground

too lazy to dump it nicely in the bin

i might be bein a bitch

but i'm jus angry

so guys u better nt pissed me off

hohoho

i mean if it was jus some

crazy normal wild relationship

it wouldnt be so bad

but imagine

him tellin u everyday tat i'm nice

n he says he did well choosin me

or him showin u off to his pals

n then

breaks up wit u

sayin u're nt his type

wtf

...

wateva

like they say

once a flirt alwya a flirt

they jus like messin ple's life up
cuz they jus feel like it

...

i'm sorry if i seem really mean

but i'm jus like this when i'm angry

i might regret the words tmr

but jus tonite

..i'm jus gonna say wateva comes to mind...

oh ya btw

i hav a new eyecandy

he's in year 3

his cca is track

h e is real cute

n he has a bod

nuff said haha

saw my 2nd eyecandy today

n he smiled at me

omg omg omg

i melted in an instance

couldnt even move or breathe

so i jus gave him back a "peace" sign

n then i ran to the back of the canteen

n hyperventilate

haha

but was really a depressin day

everyone knew i cried

cuz my eyes were swellin

holy crap i look like a gold fish

wheeee

couldnt smile at all

couldnt laugh

my eyes hurted so much

i walked home

eyes half shut

so i kept bangin into stuff again

i feel like a pinball machine u knw ?

nyways goin out wit shafiq now

he's bringin me on a date

to god knows where

he didnt wanna tell me where we're goin

but hey its ok

i like surprises

..

at least there's one thing

good aft havin this

one-night-relationship

wit j.t

i made fabulous new frenz

like shafiq , muthu n jun ming

esp shafiq

thanx so much

for always bein there

when i need a shoulder to cry on

i owe u so much
i'm proud to hav a guy like u

...

meetin kat

nex week

for haji lane shoppin

we're gonna burn our wallets big time man

nyways
gtg
later babes

i'll show posts again ltr

horror is the new delight

Thursday, January 24, 2008 | 0 comments

fuckin emo day

mind the language

but i jus freakin tired n stress now

was already feelin emo

cuz of yesterdae

"break my heart into pieces" day

n then today

everyone around me was emo

wtf...

o level frenz

r cryin over e phone

sayin how shitty they are

my best frenz r

crackin up

my dear clique

has a little drama here n there

n like my world is jus crashin over me

i cant study

i cant hand up homework on time

i hav love issues

i hav cash issues

i hav frenz issues

..its jus so hard to bear...

i'm losin my mind

so ignored everybody in sch todae

i'm sorry if i offended everyone

but i jus wasnt in e mood

so sorry

its like i'm jus so so so bloody depressed

i'm so depressed tat i cant cry

haha....ironic right ?
i jus couldnt be bothered wit anythin

but it wasnt tat gloomy e whole day la
gt back my O level ENG results
hoho
i gt a B4
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAy
from d7 to b4
i improved
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
so my l1r5 is like 14 pts
hmmm
dunno wanna transfer out
.....

took e five stations today
n i'm happy hoho

sit up : 48

pull up : 40

sit and reach : 53

shuttle run : 11.0 secs

standin board jump : 170

so i jus needa pass my 2.4

n i'll get gold again

yay

i cant run for nuts

hmmm

maybe if i hold my eyecandies pic

in frnt of my face

should get some motivation

hmmm

saw him today at e gym

oh god

he is so hot...

whew...i'm burnin...

heard some nasty things bout him

was real worried

cuz i knew he was feelin emo

was tempted to call

but

...u said u wanted me to leave u alone.....

i guess

it aint right for me to call

....

dammit

so used to bein there for u

now tat i'm all alone

there's no one for me to lean on anymore

....

this sux

goin to e beach tmr

yay

lets all get drunk

n go skinny dipppin pple

wheeeeeeeeeeeee

story of our life

Wednesday, January 23, 2008 | 0 comments

we met one year ago
durin JAE orientation
i saw u on the train
wit frenz i used to hav
but the impression didnt last long
so we forgot each another's existence

many months later
sick of the past
i cut my hair short
it was then
u finally noticed me
u stared across e canteen
wonderin how i would be

u came up wit a plan
u held my best friend close
it wasnt long
be4 we met upclose
u didnt really attract me
cuz i thought u were another flirt

but on tat fated day
i saw u cry...
i decided i really wanted to knw u
i wanted to make the pain go away
i'm nt sure since when
i started to like u
i started to grow closer to u
wit every passin day

but aft 1 week
n u hardly knw me at all
u asked for my hand
tat shook the hell out of me
i was afraid
i rejected u
cuz i thgt u were insincere

one week later
i found out u were true
so i asked u to be wit me
to stay by my side for real

we had two months of
joy and laughter
cuz although
u criticise the way i spoke
the way i dress
the way i thought [emo]
i still loved u
cuz i knew u were true frm the start

but aft tat she came back into your life
u said tat u didnt knw who to choose
so we decided to part
but i regretted instantly
cuz i still love u dear
n i knw ur feelings for her
was nothin but a remembrance

so we patch back
but in e end it still felt miserable
aft all tat happened
so we finaaly break
n continue as frenz

but aft 3 days
u came runnin back
sayin how u missed me
n i hit u back wit the same reply
sayin i feel e same way too

so we secretly date
for this 2 weeks
it was the happiest times
of our life
although it was wrong
but we were happy
so for a while we didnt care

but reality struck us
we couldnt keep living this lie
so u decided to end it
u decided its best
tat we forget each another completly

in a way
we were together for 3 months
although it was short
but it was one of the happiest
moments in my life
...
coudnt believe it ended this way
we're both hurt by this outcome
but its fate
...
u said u'll never find another like me
...
n believe me
i'll never find another like u too
...
we held together n cried
cuz it jus wasnt fair
how can we love each another so much
when its never gonna work
.....
..
...
i stared at u across e canteen
u stared back at me
but we're strangers now
so i looked away
n faked a smile
thkin i'll get used to bein the past me
u walked away
i glanced over
but u were already gone
.....
.......
this is the end of our story
.......
.............
fairytales were never meant to be real
love is jus a fool's game
tat i fell for
over n over again

the old me

...will i be able to pick up the pieces i left behind ?

boo

Monday, January 21, 2008 | 0 comments

ok sch still as lame
n retarded
died durin p.e
hate tat bloody miss ang
fat bombastic slimy fart-tart
ate cookies in e mornin
[i knw i shouldnt but i was hungry kill me man...]
so ran like 5 rounds n then stop
cuz really felt like vomittin
n then tat retard
forced me to run another 2 rounds

was real tempted to jus
vomit in her face
aft runnin
....saggy buttock piece of crap woman....

is it jus me
or i hav balls for eyes ?
or eyes for balls ?
em...
ok.....
nyways
i jus keep bumpin into stuff
durin break
said hi to my friend
then i turned
n bumped into the wall

aft sch

waved goodbye

to my dear clique

then i turned

n knock into the

"welcome to m.i sign"

which was surrounded

by ferns

so was like

strugglin away

from e pots n plants

n then

for e whole

day i smelled

like fertiliser

wheeeeeeeeeee

chinese ended early

so ended at like 4.05

haiz

then stayed in sch til like 6.30

n then went home

wit shafiq,bernard n ketav

i hate him

so tao....[nt gonna say which one]

n then

as usual

some scary retarded guy

will jus sit nex to me

n stare at my chest

all e way frm jurong east to bishan

all e seats were empty

but he jus had to sit nex to me

asshole...

oh ya

i'm so sorry J.t

sorry for misjudgin u

i was jus a jealous idiot

i'm so sorry

forgive me k babe

i didnt mean to hurt u

graspin wat u let go

Sunday, January 20, 2008 | 0 comments

damn it

bloody com still got virus

so cant upload photos

n hav to write

my blogs within 1 min

be4 it resets again

assholes....

woke up at 9

pass yina e cash

jus woke up

so went out

wit my pri sch brownie tshirt

fbt shorts

n mad mad hair

n then i bumped into this really cute guy

n he went

"oooooooooo had a bad night ?"

...

i wanna die

i jus ran home n bury

beneath e sheets

i feel outraged

darn

...

met j.t at like 4

went to eat steamboat

at golden mile

mmmm

place of aunties

oh yeeeeea

played pool aft tat

i still suck at it no doubt

but i hav improved

muahahahaha

i can survive

3 pool games

without hittin e lights

or pokin other pple's behind

yay

i feel less bimbotic now

....

so em gt screwed

cuz came home at 12

j.t emoed again when we were gettin back

haiz

sometimes

i really dun knw

wat to say

cuz its nt somethin i can handle

but....

nvm

its better not askin

cuz its nt gonna get anywhere

like last time

....

love it when we hang out like this

love it when we kissed

love it when u adore me

i love ur face when u sleep
love it when u kiss my palm
love it when u smile

but the more i love the way we're together now
the more i am afraid
afraid of gettin closer to u
afraid tat i'll get used to it
afraid of lovin u
cuz i knw u'll only giv me dispair
cuz no matter how hard u thk
u still cant make a choice right ?
sometimes
i wonder
y when she treats u like crap
u still keep runnin back to her
i used to wonder
but i dun really care nymore
never was patient
sick of caring
sick of waitin
cuz i'm really thkin its jus a game
i dun deserve this
if u dun appreciate
i dun giv a hoot nymore
...
i'm lettin go of your hand
...
cuz my heart doesnt hurt anymore
....
do u love me ?

new beginnin

Friday, January 18, 2008 | 0 comments

i'm am f***ing high
i'm bloody happy
i'm on cloud nine
i wanna go skinny dippin in e macritchie reservoir

i wanna round round little india

n play hopscotch wit e banglahs
i'm jus damn happy
somebody slap me PLEASE yay

cuz today's my last day of work
yay
no more stress
i love u agnes for once
u might be a queen bitch
but i still respect u n your saggy behind

died durin sch yesterdae

cuz e teachers were spankin my ass

cuz i didnt hand up work

get used to it pple

haiz

aft sch
met my exclassmates
holy crap
i missed u guys so so so much
darn u ann
bring me back a blondie alright
[she's goin aus for studies go figure]

ate at fish n co for e 1st time
yay
e private room looked like a toilet but who cares
drank n got high
on e pink passion
mmmmmmmmmmmmm
yummy
love u all
4e4 roxxxx
n pple u guys still owe me my dvds
its been 2years man
i bet they;re all mouldy n stuff
black mould i say....hmph...

i'll upload e pics another dae yea ?

haha
left at like 10
met shafiq
n then he sent me home again
awwwwwwww
thk u
although u scared e shit out of me
but thank u haha
laughed til my tummy aches
he is one cute little puppy

he bought me ice cream

n then he jus snatch and ate it all in my face

wth

darn u

asshole...

haha

nyways
i'm glad
i'm havin my life back
i'm happy
i wanna cry
wheeeee
i hav time to do things my way now
i can study
dun need to emo anymore
i can finally learn dance

joinin dragonboat...finally...
i'm single wheee
so i can stalk my eyecandy home everyday now [^-----^]
i'm broke yay
i'm stress free yay
n i aint complainin
i love it jus the way it is now
...
i wan it to stay like this....forever

i never meant to brag
but i got wat i wanted now
used to be immature
used to be afraid of the truth
but i dun really care now
i might seem evil
...but i'm already gettin over u...
already gettin over the past
cuz i cant keep runnin back to u
...cuz it aint worth it...
dun wanna cry anymore
dun wanna hurt anymore
u had me...once...
but it aint gonna happen again
if u're true show me...
if u really love me...tell me
cuz i aint gonna wait anylonger

Thursday, January 17, 2008 | 0 comments

gettin real annoyed wit my com

cuz clappy send me a virus

now it shuts down

every 50 secs

so i'm like

rushin to write a blog

darn u hackers

...assholes...

can someone intro me

a good anti-virus site ?

sch was retarded as usual

reached sch at like 7

was suppose to eat breakfast wit j.t

but then he gt sick

poor baby

get well soon alright ?

oh ya

congratulations to jason

for bein vice-captain for

basketball

n bein vice-captain

for zircon house

...respect*...bow bow...

haha

was really fun yesterdae

skipped management wit sha n ain

was eatin at e back of e hall

on e floor

n then i slept

n then

we heard ms ang

comin in

so we all hid behind

e cardboard

n did e bangra dance

thk god

ain knw an escape route

or we'll be in for suspension...boo...

fooled around in e gym aft sch

borrowed j.t's towel

sha : eee why u borrow his towel so smelly

me : smelly meh [sniff]...

it smelled like lavender detergent

so for e whole of maths period

i was sniffin it like hell

i'm not a pervert

at least its not panties right

....

hmmm goin to ann's party tmr

heard she's goin to aus to study

darn u gurl

gonna miss u

plan on gettin so high

so tat i can

recite e alphabets backwards

wheeeeeeee

aft all tat we've been through

find myself still lovin u

but i thk we needa take a chance to make it right

cuz i've never gave up on a good thing

nvr gav up on e love we had

baby

we jus needa take it slow.....

jus another week

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 | 0 comments

Just another day
im not being in your way
so im all alone..
just another Week
we dont hardly speak
but im holding on
stop treating me so wrong,
Give me your loving,
Give me your mind,
Give me your kissing,
give me some time,
cuz i cant live my life
if my heart Walks out your life,
Give me your loving,
Give me some eason,
Give me your kissing,
Give me aReason,
to make me wanna stay
wanna go back to the day i loved you,
more
when you had no money
use to say i love you more
baby all i need is,
More time and more mind,
i loved you more
every day was sunny
and i was thinking ofYou more
baby all i need is
more time and more mind

laughin my ass off

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 | 0 comments

its such a glorious day
met my eyecandy face to face this mornin
lynard gt high in sch
i swear i thought he was gonna dance on e tabletop
died durin pe
n i luuuurve it
i love bein tortured physically wheeeeeeee
torture me baby
slap me around wit a fire hydrant
wheeeeeee
went out wit jt after sch
now i'm homa at 12
haha

sowhat

Monday, January 14, 2008 | 0 comments

sch was tiring
answered 5 questions out of 18
for chem test
n i actually cheated
jun ming was jus
there shakin his head
lookin down on me
....darn u tall person...
haha kidd

was tired cuz
i was runnin round e sch lookin for shafiq
n he was also runnin around e sch lookin for me
so frm 9.00am til 5.00 am
we ran circles round e sch
n then we finally met when sch ended
...mental head slap...

went home wit shafiq n junming
was rather hilarious
cuz me n jm was emoing
shafiq was jus snorin haha
n we really felt like hittin jm's head wit a hammer
honey
u seriously thk too much
stop stressin ur girlfriend so much alright ?
haiz cute little fella
[actually he's 210 but he's small in e heart]
go figure

died for accounts test
i tell u
i'm dyin frm stress
my imaginary pimples r formin
love my genes brahahaa
so basically
hanged out wit e basketball dudes today
kinda ironic
...
cuz the more i tried to avoid him
the more i keep bumpin into him....
haiz
i hav more things to settle now
so dun really hav time to
settle love/hate issues
....
hmmmm
i wanna eat doughnuts
....
been seein someone more frequently lately
...
n i dun knw but
...
for a second
...
i kinda wished he was my boyfriend instead
..
....
wth is wrong wit me
shit shit shit
holy mother of craps
...
*blush*

7 days

Saturday, January 12, 2008 | 0 comments

i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
brahahahaha
pple said i shd've known better
pple said tat its gonna be alright
n i knw
but i still love u
brahahhaa
sorry to say this
cuz i might sound arrogant
but i jus get e feelin tat u'll be back
someday somehow
but i knw it wont be soon
...
so for now
i'm goin my own way
i'm living my old life
the way it used to be
the way i like it
haha
i'm so super high right now
the future is unexpected
tats y i'm excited
cuz this isnt the end of the road
...
u knw dun u ?
i'll never be irreplacable
no matter how hard u try
there's only one marilyn...
n no one can be me

wat i giv no one can afford

n wat pple giv cant be duplicated

dun bother changin pple

cuz all of us r perfect e way we are
brahahaha...
...
workin later
n i seriously cant be bothered
wit mon tests
hmmm

i wanna eat doughnuts

darn u shafiq

haiz....

singin when u're winnin

Saturday, January 12, 2008 | 0 comments

omg like totally...

its been a long long time

since i've been this happy

hoho...

seriously

n it feel sooooooooooooo good

oh yea oh yea uh huh oh yea

ok sorry

i am jus high on banana

big M hav dis new banana flavoured drink

n it taste faaaaaaaaa-bulous

shafiq said it was sugar so i cant drink

but whoooooo cares

its banana

if there was a banana god

i'll worship him everyday wit cowmilk

or somethin....

so i skipped work today

lied bout havin a sprain ankle

so i hafta bandage my foot into

a bun tmr

to prove it to them..

n it was worth it...

went to e tp openhouse

wit kat n runie

it was so much fun

eyecandies everywhere

n pple there are reeeeeeeaal friendly

really regrettin goin into mi now

urgh

so watched

a dragqueen performance

it roxxxxxxxx

he is the nex kumar

i love him

...

e openhouse was kinda small

but fun

we were literally dancin

nex to e speakerbox

cant help it i love music

if this wasnt s'pore

i'll do a striptease

round it

haha kidd

i'm jus so high right now

....

went to kat's

made a fool of ourselves

[tell u some other timewit proof]

...

n then rush to orchard

to meet shafiq

wit his sec sch frenz

i tell u

i'm losin my mind

i gt enough of hearin xmas chimes

n now i havto

put up wit the chinese new year

dong dong qiang crap

i swear i was lookin for e speakerbox

at wisma

i would've jus

rip it off

n throw it unto the road

yay.......

oh ya

happy birthday shafiq

haha

so hanged out wit them til like

n then shafiq walked me home

awwwwwwwwww sweet little fella

thks so much haha

its kinda funny

how we gt so close

aft e breakup

hmmmm....

[its jus another dirty little secret between us...shh...]

so nyways

i'm jus so pleased wit today

i'm slowly gettin my life back

i mean

cant believe was some

love-sick child

2 months back

god i thk its time for me

to wake up n smell e bahoomas

true i still love him

true it didnt hav to end like tat

but i'm nt regrettin nymore

i've had enough

of lies n runnin round e bushes

i wan my life back

its time to be really me

sick of this so called bullshit

jus a drop of poison

Friday, January 11, 2008 | 0 comments

i cant handle it no more

i'm filled to the brim

dying seems so much sweeter now

life is pointless

its unbearable

i jus wanna die n

forget bout it

i'm broke

i cant accept it

there's so much stuff

i need to buy

i needa buy track shoes

i need dancin lessons

i need stationary

i need almost everythin under e sun

n i dun hav cash

i'm bloody broke

my pay was like this

jintong b.dae = 250

clothes = 120

presents = 80

n now i hav nothin

life sux

i'm broke

my grades are falling

my family is tearin apart

i cant handle work

there's so much stress

i jus cant take it

n when my world

crashed down

the person i love

dumped me

...its jus so hard to bear...

i had it

y me ?

i cant handle so much stuff alone

i'm breaking inside

no one cares

when i really needed u the most

u left me empty handed

i'm such a loser

i really wanna die

i'm tired

so so

tired

workin tmr

but i cant be bothered

i dun care whether they'll fire me

i'm jus pathetic

....

i hate everythin now

its jus me

and my broken self...

revenge is sweeter [than u ever]

Friday, January 11, 2008 | 0 comments

had a blast in sch...

was hangin at e toilet bowl

talkin to kat on e phone

durin chinese

was blowing up chemicals

durin chem

screamed n yelled like

a maniac durin HT

its been damn long

since i last

cheered for somethin/someone

n it worked haha

nana is the

vice-house captain

for sapphire house

whohoooo atta gurl

n yue wei

is e assistant secretary

two 07b1 in e exec commitee

yay

n i'm bloody excited

i wanna join e netball

inter house comp

n i wanna join e cheerleadin squat tooooo

my pom poms would

be flyin in everyone's faces

but i dun care

hmmm gonna

learn howta split n cartwheel

be4 march

...

hanged out at orchard wit

nana,nikki,runie n sean

saw my eyecandy twice

n i was like

mmmmmm....he is jus soooo gorgeous

saw yuda at NUM

saw kerman at everlast

saw hell lot of mi students

n runie gt a haircut

its hot

haha its bloody stylo

was mainly emoing through e day

haiz

i jus cant seem to be e way i was

i'm hopeless

crush crush crush

Thursday, January 10, 2008 | 0 comments

crap sch was pathetic

was cryin durin accounts

was upset durin break

was laughin like hell

wit shafiq [he's a real weirdy]

then was embarassed

cuz was starin at my eyecandy

n i thk he saw me drooled

then

was feelin lovey dovey

durin maths [secret brahaha]

n then gt worried

bout j.t

n his bb thing

then got hyper

durin pe

[love bein phy tortured]

n now i'm worried cuz of chem test tmr

i'm so tired

so many diff expressions

one face

full of wrinkles

haiz

enrollin for bachata tmr

wit runie

i'm excited

heard all salsa pple r tall

hmmm....

crap

Wednesday, January 09, 2008 | 0 comments

god
my eye jus twitched like fuck
jus now
somethin extremely bad
is gonna happen tmr
pls let it be a prank
i cant afford nymore tears to be shed
pls

winning on the dot

Wednesday, January 09, 2008 | 0 comments

like i said
i won
hmmm
i'm such a bad bad bad bad gurl
but this
hapiness wont
last for long
i gt e feeling hmmm
tats y
i cant lose my focus now

i've stop procrastinating
i'm studyin like
a maniac now
i'm tryin to stop emoing
n i've finally
agreed to learn dance
i'm learnin salsa whohooooooooooo
enrolling this
fri wit runie
doin my eyelashes wit nikki
be4 tat
hmmm
i love sch
...
i'm gonna learn salsa wheeeeeeeeee
actually
i prefer learnin Bachata
its a sexier version of salsa
lots of hip movement
mmmm
but e schdule
aint out yet at jitterbugs

check it out
this is samba
wit a little bachata

love the endin
its bloody sexy
lacey is jus so hot
its jus ridiculous
she shd hav won instead of pasha
nyways
its gonna take me years to be like her
but no harm tryin right ?

huuunh

Tuesday, January 08, 2008 | 0 comments

hmph
for real r u kiddin me ?
i might be nice
might be kind
but there's a limit to wat i can take in
u're such a shit head
i'm real pissed off now
dun get in my way
cuz u're jus an eyesore
in both our eyes
i've watched his wildest dreams
come through
nt even one
involvin u
...
so wats the problem

another day another drama
i mean pls
u wan a piece of me ?

dj dun stop the beat

Tuesday, January 08, 2008 | 0 comments

i love sch

love it so much

tat i'm now

laughin in e refrigerator

ya i tend to jus

squeeze inside

n hibernate

once in a while...

no doubt i still love him

very much at tat fact

so i'm jus

waitin patiently

for him to clear up

his confused thoughts

n start bein mature

[faster la ahyo...]

but tats wat eyecandies r for

they reduce e pain

a little

hurhurhur

was stalkin my 1st eyecandy

round sch todae

hoho

its so fun

seeing he run round e tracks

n bein tortured

by e pe teachers

damn...

eyes

i'm gettin a rush

n i'm in sch

holy crap...

was dumbfounded aft sch

cuz me n sha

were mesmerised

at hanis brother

doin pull ups

[he is blind btw]

n he did 4

wtf

i cant even touch e pole

for god sake

damn...

i suck

u'll be back tats wat they say

u will endure tats wat u say

but for me

hmmm

told u frm e start boy...

u're gonna regret

n i can see tat frm your eyes

so wat r u waitin for ?

life carries on

so be4 i forget

u better come back

cuz options r openin

n its rather

...tempting...

muahahahaha

Monday, January 07, 2008 | 0 comments

i love sch

love it so so so

much more than last year brahahaha

its revenge time

nt gonna spill my plans

but he is so gonna pay

plus made great new frenz

[still retarded but wats new hurhur]

was enjoyin myself

watchin e pre u 1

gettin tortured by PE

haha

love bein physically abuse

i'm such a sadist

pe tmr YAY

lets run around e track

n die on the hockey pitch

did tat once

wanna do it again

oh oh

i found e perfect song

tat matches my love

story right now

its called

"what you do about me"

by m2m

couldnt find e song

but here's e lyrics

I wish that I was her

and I wish that she was me

You gotta let her go,

and I know that you agree

'Cause how could this ever start?

If you're afraid to break her heart?

You say you love me so

You have to let her know

[Chorus]

All that she wants is you

All that she sees is you

All that you gotta do

It's to set her free

That's what

What you do about me

Love's not an easy thing

Always somebody gets hurt

I know you were meant for me,

even though she saw you first

But deal with her honestly

I won't let you cheat with me

I guess you never knew

What you put yourself into

[Chorus]

We could beautiful

We could be so special

We could be wonderful

[Chorus 2x]

jus wit a snap

Sunday, January 06, 2008 | 0 comments

i love work

no seriously

i love work

i dun care whether its tiring

or it pays avr...

i jus love e pple dere...

its like a mini rojak family

....

justin was so so so sweet

for e 1st time today

he knew i was depressed

so he sang me a song

hahha

n he made me pee [nt literally]

his voice was nice

n its like

everyone was

jus acting stupid n retarded

jus to cheer me up

awwwww...shit...

....

guess there is more to one reason

y i dun wanna leave

braahaha

tats my dirty little secret babes

....

ohya

e rumour

bout some guy at work

who likes me

seems to be spreadin like fire

i'm hearin it everyone i go

its certainly not true

...but it still made me go

ooooooooooh....

...holy crap...

schoolin tmr

i am so gonna die

didnt do HW

didnt study for poa

didnt revise for chem

so screwed

oh ya

jus added a thing to do

in my

"be4 i die list"

i've decided

tat i'll once

travel all e way to

St Peters Episcopal Church of Weston, Massachusetts

go to e top of the tower

n sing e "hallelujah" chorus

n then i'll run around

e meadows nearby

doin a remake of e "sound of music"

n then i'll milk a cow

....

i love my youth

hohoho

piece of me

Saturday, January 05, 2008 | 0 comments

work was relievin to e heart
painful to the body
had to start early
cuz erucia collapse
n was in e hospital
poor gurl
get well alright....love ya...
n honestly
i can see y
e place was packed wit aunties
n there were only 4 pple workin
in such a huge store
urgh...agnes....wat hav u been thinkin...

really couldnt took it as well
so i fainted aftwards
brahahhaa
was really hyperventilatin
n i jus collapse in e pantry
so was immobile on e floor
for like 5 min
thank god no one saw tat
embarassin shit...

its the depression...
and the booze
8 frenz visited me today
5 brought alcohol
"thought u need cheerin up"
they say
WAT THE HELL
i'm workin for god sake
so i down
3 mouths of alcoholic drinks
1 shot of kaulua
n 1 glass of wine
[i hav no idea where they get e glass frm]

so doin work
i was like some walkin zombie
hic*
mmm
kevin was sweet
thx for e obnoxious but sweet speech bout love
haha

eric bought a condom for me
wtf

me : wat is dis for

eric : its wateva u wan it to be [smiles]

i swear i was about to throw e manequin across e room

i swear to god my hands

were alr round e manequin's neck

n was in my baseball position

but shany kinda saw tat

so....yea...

damn u eric

asshole

...

baby i wanna see u move like tat

Friday, January 04, 2008 | 0 comments

i'm gettin booooooored

wit phone calls of

retarded pple askin wat happen

ok newsflash

broke

becuz

reasons

both

dun

quite

wanna

repeat

again

and

yes

are

now

very

upset

confused

end of newflash

haiz...

i was cryin over e phone

for e first 5 callers

was gettin irritated

wit e nex 7 calls

was gettin real bored

wit the nex 12 calls

n the rest

i jus rejected them

u knw

its kinda tiring

repeatin stuff

over n over again

i'm nt a recorder dudes....

so had a total of 35 calls

last nite n dis mornin

hmmm news spread fast

its frightenin...

n yes gt reminded

bout my frenz

bein mostly retarded

when i said we broke up

some weird responses were

nic : holy shit mother father stupid hore wat an arse fuckin arsehole son of a bitch

me : ....and ?

nic : i forgot e other vulgarities

nikki : hey tats good news so now we can be paedophiles n start grabbin e pre U 1's

[not a bad idea.....hmmm]

justine : haha u're kiddin

[aft 5 min]

justine : u really broke up ?

[aft 7 min 40 secs]

justine : holy crap u did break up....

haiz

statistics...

80% of u guys were shocked

12 % said it was expected

40% said the word "what?"

90% said oh

98% said he was a bastard

n 1 of u started readin verses frm e bible

but e person who

enlightened me was

AIN

thank you so much

u were right

its nt his fault

n tat if i were him

i'll be in e same situation

lets jus hope

your presumpsions

come true

so its either

he's an idiot

or he's really sweet

time limit : 7 days...

he said she said

Friday, January 04, 2008 | 0 comments

hmmm lately been crazy
over this cheerleadin pop
kinda cutesy song
by ashley tisdale

urgh workin later

12 to 8 at united square

workin tmr

frm 2 to 10

at bishan

wtf....

i'm thkin of enrollin

in e panda industry

my eyebags r killin me

hmmm....

jus one night wit u

all the things we could do

everyday i thk of.............[^-----------^]

brahahaha

Well, I never saw it coming

.I should've started running

A long, long time ago.

And I never thought I'd doubt you,

I'm better off without you

More than you,

more than you know.

I'm slowly getting closure.

I guess it's really over.

I'm finally getting better.

And now I'm picking up the pieces.

I'm spending all of these time

Putting my heart back together.

'Cause the day I thought

I'd never get through,

.....

I got over you.

edge of hopes

Friday, January 04, 2008 | 0 comments

i'm sittin alone

in a room filled wit grief

guess i was really disposable huh

guess i really was jus another girl

i hate you

y me ?

u jus enjoy seeing me get hurt dun u ?

how could u....

its unfair

so bloody unfair

...

in this room of mine

i jus shed tears

i'm crying again

i hate it

all i see is blood on my walls

its funny

u made me hurt so much

tat punching walls n breakin stuff

dun hurt as badly as be4

i'm bleeding

but i dun care

my heart hurts

but u dun seem to care

i loved you...

but i jus cant do it anymore

i'm tired

i dun giv a fuck nymore

wateva u do

i'll jus respect it

i hate you

the way i treated u

u're gonna regret

the days i spent wit u

u're gonna regret

the times we kissed

u're gonna regret

...

its over

...

u're so gonna regret

broken flower

Thursday, January 03, 2008 | 0 comments

its the start of sch again
am i'm startin to feel the burn
crying alone
in a room filled wit sadness
once again
i wonder
...is it all a lie ?....

it hurtz
it really really hurtz
but i'm jus gonna still
pretend tat its ok
cuz everythin
would be fine in e end
right ?
....
..
..
..
enyi
....
...

scrap the formalism

Thursday, January 03, 2008 | 0 comments

i'm sick n tired of

bullshits n procrastinations

i'm sick of life

i'm sick of tears

and i'm fuckin sick of acting

like its goddamn ok

I"M NOT OK

...

stop wif the games jus stop

pls...

u wan him ?

jus take him

i dun care

whether its appropriate or not

if u incidently love him

jus go right up to him

n tell him

cuz i knw he still loves u

n i dun fuckin care

cuz i knw

he doesnt love me for real

...

its all jus a game

n i'm the toy

i knew it frm the start

but i jus agreeed to played

along cuz

i neeeded attention

...i jus needed somethin

to distract me frm him

he caused me so much pain

tat i jus needed a break...

...

so pls...

i'm nt gonna cry

i'm nt gonna break

cuz i alr predicted dis outcome

jus take him

when the wound is still fresh

...

it hurtz

but its expected

jus go

leave me alone

...

goin through the motions

Wednesday, January 02, 2008 | 0 comments

there's somethin wrong wit me
i'm havin some sorta
bladder infection
it hurts when i pee
n there was blood once
n i cant seem to control my bladder
damn it...
heard it could
jus be an infection
or a kidney stone
or worse come to worse
it could be cancer
[holy sweet mary mother of god...]

nyways
doin checkup tmr
sweetie was pissed
cuz i hid it frm him for quite a while
haiz
i'm a bad bad gurl...
jus crossin my heart
now n prayin
its jus gonna be fine

sexy love

Wednesday, January 02, 2008 | 0 comments

spent e 30 .31
n 1st jan wit my dear j.t
brahahaha
it was his b.dae
so yea kinda cool
1st time celebratin indoors
hmmm....

so did my
new years
"can make cannot acheive" resolutions
so was back at sch
reach at an hr early again
...darn my parents r jus clueless...
was wrestlin wit e
PU1 students
cuz lynard forgot his grp number
so i was jus smellin pple
while franticaly lookin for his bloody name

on e phone in sch :

me : nard where u ?

nard : eh on e way to sch

me : got bring nything for sch ?

nard : eh was drinkin last night

sooooo

i got a bottle of vodka wit me...

[mental headslap]

wow....

M.I is really a place for

e mentally challenged

he brought a bottle of vodka to sch

wth

but he use to be my rugby kaki

can't wait to see him in action again

there's a reason he's called

a devil in short shorts...oooooooo

was voted e chem rep....

[means i cant skip lessons nymore]

damn.....

was bleeding durin assembly [accident]

was scolded at for ankle socks

in 1st period

was sleepin in e 2nd

was emo durin break

was punished twice in chem

so was standin outside e classroom

be4 migratin to e back of the class

hmmm

great way to start e year i say

bravo

i can't wait to fall in love wit u

u can't wait to fall in love wit me

its jus a summer thing

although it still hurtz

but i dun care

was nvr innocent

3 guys in my life

1 is of my love

1 makes my head spin

the last one makes my heart bleed

...

it still goes on...

i'm lovin it